


Serenade

by Lexie



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-23
Updated: 2010-10-23
Packaged: 2017-10-12 23:44:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/130471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexie/pseuds/Lexie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brittany has something to say to Santana and, with some help, she's going to express it through song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Serenade

It all starts with Rachel.

(Of course it does.)

She gets up in front of the group and announces to Mr. Schue that she has prepared a selection for today's practice. He tells her to go right ahead.

(Of course he does.)

She belts "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" to Finn, who looks a little uncomfortable at the start but weirdly touched by the end.

It's probably the one musical he knows.

***

Finn apparently gets the idea somewhere -- most likely from Rachel herself -- that he needs to reciprocate. He shows up at Glee one day and, to an chorus of raised eyebrows, sings "[You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-G8IfjPAII)." It's not a good selection for his vocal strengths. Finn is no Josh Groban, and Josh Groban is no favorite of the New Directions.

And so it begins.

Sam gets up with his guitar for a Coldplay tune about how he and Quinn will be together until the apocalypse, or something like that. More than one member of the audience thinks that it's a very unlikely goal, but Quinn is captivated. She returns the gesture with "[Come Away with Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbjZPFBD6JU)," during which Noah Puckerman can be seen with a stony face, clutching the armrest of his chair til it creaks.

Puck breaks his tradition of Jewish songwriters by performing a remarkably smug take on "[Everyday I Love You Less and Less](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAkg4cwJp1Y)."

The club is very awkward that day.

On the well-at-least-it-was-interesting side, Quinn slaps the hell out of him.

Mike, apparently not wanting to look like a jerk when all of the other boyfriends have performed, gets over his singing-fright enough to pop and lock his way through something with a heavy beat and the most random lyrics anyone has ever heard. Tina seems to like it, though, despite the vocal massacre; she serenades Mike with "I Could Have Danced All Night," which seems, despite being a perfectly legitimate (if very, very sweet) performance, to make Mr. Schuester wince.

Kurt and Mercedes bring the roof down on a [pointed duet](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp2JkT8e_r8) of "[Down with Love](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1rYjR3kC3U)." Artie whoops his approval; Santana says, " _Finally_." Mr. Schuester says he thinks he sees their point, and issues a plea for a return to business as usual.

That seems to be the end of it -- until it's not.

***

Mercedes is laughing as she gathers up her stuff. "You're crazy," she says, throwing her backpack strap over her shoulder. "We are _not_ singing anything from _Avenue Q_ ; Mr. Schue would never go for that."

"A boy can dream," Kurt retorts airily, refraining from tapping his boot as he waits for her.

"It's puppets, Kurt," Mercedes says, dubious. "Puppets that swear."

"It's more--" he protests, and then he slows down, "than..." She frowns at him, then turns to see where he's looking.

Brittany is sitting quietly in the back row of the risers, her shoulders slumped and her hands in her lap. It's pathetic-looking, even by Brittany's usual blank standards.

"That's about the saddest thing I've ever seen," Mercedes mutters.

Kurt privately agrees, as he thinks back to about three minutes earlier, when Mr. Schuester told them to go home for the afternoon. "Santana left arm-in-arm with Puck," he mutters back, remembering the way that Brittany's eyes had followed them. He raises his voice. "Brittany."

She slowly looks over at him.

"... Mr. Schue said we could go," Kurt says. Sometimes, the emptiness in Brittany's lack of expressions can be downright unnerving.

"Oh," says Brittany dully. She doesn't move. "Okay."

Kurt and Mercedes exchange a glance.

***

"--and we'll just," says Kurt, leading them down the hallway, and then he stops short, his eyes going wide. "Dad!" His dad is, in fact, sitting on the couch with his feet on the coffee table. The TV is on, but he's not looking at it. "I thought you were at the garage today."

"I came home early," his dad says slowly. "Hey Mercedes." Kurt sees him looking at Brittany's hand, which is, unfortunately, in Kurt's. "...Brittany."

"Hi Mr. Hummel," Mercedes says from behind them.

"Your name sounds like that telescope," Brittany says, like this has just occurred to her. Kurt would be more busy being astonished that Brittany knows what the Hubble is (and being relieved that his dad is still taking it easy after the aneurysm), if his dad wasn't looking really, really wary.

"Uh. Okay," says Dad.

"We're just going to go -- practice," Kurt says, and he tries to make a break for the basement door.

"Kurt, can I talk to you for a second?"

His back to his dad, Kurt shuts his eyes, then opens them again. Mercedes looks like she's trying not to laugh. "Sure," he says. He makes a motion toward the basement in Mercedes's general direction; he's pretty sure she _is_ laughing as she leads Brittany downstairs.

When he turns around, his dad is shooting him a level look. "You're not ... tryin' to prove anything again, are you?"

Kurt can't decide whether to be annoyed or mortified. He goes with a combination of both, and says, matter-of-factly, "Brittany wants to sing a song to her ex-best friend. Mercedes and I are helping with the musical selection. She kept trying to hold my hand."

"Fair enough," says Burt. "Just asking."

Kurt flees into the basement while he still can.

***

"Do you know what theme you want to sing to Santana about?" Kurt asks, leaning over Brittany's shoulder at his desk.

"I've got a suggestion," Mercedes says darkly from the couch. "It begins with b and ends with itch."

He snorts, but, to illustrate to Brittany, types it into the iTunes bar to search his 63 gigs of music. Not many songs come up, and Kurt doesn't see Brittany as much of a Bowie fan. "Picking a common word can at least give you a starting list to work from."

Brittany seems to have perked up at the idea of taking on a solo in front of the club. She brightened a little and said something about her awesomeness when they were in the car, anyway, so she has presumably retained her self-confidence from the week of the Other Britney. She slowly nods.

"What's your theme?" Mercedes asks.

Brittany turns around in her chair. "It's a secret," she says, very seriously, and Kurt and Mercedes exchange what feels like the fiftieth look of the afternoon.

"Well," Kurt drawls, slowly. "If you want your song choice to be a secret until you perform it, you'll probably want to use these." He connects his noise-canceling headphones to the laptop.

It takes her three tries to get them over her ears correctly.

"Maybe we shouldn't be encouraging this," Kurt mutters to Mercedes.

"Definitely not," she mutters back.

***

Kurt sticks his hand up. "Mr. Schuester," he says.

Mr. Schue sighs and leans back against the piano, like he's just been waiting for this. "Yes, Kurt?"

He frowns, wondering if he should be affronted (he is, a little), but remembers: this is for Brittany. (Despite all his misgivings.) He pushes on. "Brittany has something she wants to share with the group."

There are some muffled groans. Mr. Schuester says, "Guys, if we keep doing this, we're never going to _practice_."

"Mr. Schue, everybody else had their chance to sing if they wanted to," Mercedes says. "I think Brittany should get a shot."

"Fine! Fine." Mr. Schuester doesn't sound particularly enthused about it, as he climbs into the seats. That's totally his 'this is stupid but I'm going to allow you kids to get it out of your system' voice. "Where is she?"

Mercedes points to Brad at the piano, who takes his cue and signals the strings.

The chorus room doors blow open and Brittany stalks in, heels clicking. She's dressed like a pin-up of a fifties housewife in a short black halter-neck dress with full skirts made fuller by a crinoline. Her hair is up in an impeccably retro mass of curls, and she is wearing bright red lipstick and a _fierce_ eyeliner cat-eye.

Everyone else looks various levels of surprised, bemused, or turned on by the sight of Brittany's chosen outfit. Kurt, however, recognizes both the fashion style and the opening strains of the song (which sound like something out of a cheesy PSA from 1952) that Brad and the band are beginning to play.

Kurt's eyebrows make an immediate run for his hairline.

The music shifts into a steady beat and Brittany stops at the piano, staring out at all of them. She puts her hand on her cocked hip and she says, "Now honey, you better sit down and look around, 'cause you must have bumped your head, and I love you enough to talk some sense back into you, baby."

Brittany has always been a good performer. When she gets up in front of people, her studied blankness vanishes and is completely replaced by some of the most expressive work Kurt has ever seen. That's usually while dancing or cheering in a large group, though, and this is on a whole new level altogether. Who knew Brit had so much attitude in her?

Mercedes reaches back and clutches at Kurt's knee in realization. "Is she doing--?!" she hisses, and Kurt bats at her hand, staring at Brittany.

"Check my credentials; I give you everything you want, everything you need," says Brittany, over the beat. "Even your friends say I'm a good woman. All I need to know is why."

And then the hook sets in, and Brittany launches into it. "[ _Why don't you love me_](http://vimeo.com/11465235) _? Tell me, baby, why don't you love me when I make me so damn easy to love?_ "

Brittany is no Beyoncé, but she has a strong, clear voice, and Kurt can already tell that she is going to sing the _hell_ out of this song.

" _And why don't you need me? Tell me, baby, why don't you need me when I make me so damn easy to need?_ "

He glances to his left. Every single student in Glee -- with Mr. Schue included -- is gaping at the spectacle in front of them.

Santana Lopez's mouth is hanging open.

" _I got beauty, I got class; I got style, and I got ass, and you don't even care to care, looka here_ ," Brittany belts, and then she step-turns to the side and, with more grace than should really be possible for what she's doing, points at her booty.

Someone -- Kurt thinks Quinn -- lets out a disbelieving laugh and then whoops. Several other cheers join her voice. Santana still hasn't moved.

Brittany struts through the whole song. She does a little dancing during the musical interlude (mostly shaking her ass to heights hitherto unknown even to Brittanydom, though she also plucks a feather duster off the piano and mimes dusting off the Cheerios trophy that Sue had installed in the choir room last year, except it's hard to be mad at her for it, because she's so clearly A) aping the video, and B) staring right at Santana as she does it), but mostly, she stands in the front of the room and she taps her heel, gyrates a little, and sings. It's totally mesmerizing.

It's also totally unmistakable who she's singing to, with the way that her eyes keep coming back to the back row over and over again. Especially on the verse that goes: " _I got moves in your bedroom, keep you happy with the nasty things I do, but you don't seem to be in tune_."

Kurt is looking at Santana on that one, and her face cycles through several emotions, lightning fast, before it settles back on pure shock. Mr. Schuester is frowning, like maybe he should stop this due to inappropriate lyrics (oh please, Mr. Schuester), but Brittany keeps blowing through the song.

By the final two verses, almost everyone in the seats is giving Brittany a clap with the beat or is grooving in his or her chair.

" _There's nothing not to love about me_ ," Brittany sings; " _no, no, there's nothing not to love about me; I'm lovely, there's nothing not to need about me_."

(Tina tells her: "Sing it!")

" _No, no, there's nothing not to need about me_ ," Brittany sings with everything she's got (which isn't that much, but she's seriously working it); " _maybe you're just not the one, or maybe you're just plain..._ " Beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, and then she finishes: " _dumb_."

The chorus room erupts. In the front row, Mercedes and Tina haul Brittany in to sit with them, congratulating her; she's beaming the biggest, most vacuous smile Kurt has ever seen on her face as everyone within arm's reach leans over to touch her hair or pat her shoulder.

"Whoaaaaa!" Mr. Schuester is laughing as he claps. "Brittany _Pierce_ , guys!"

As the raucous applause dies down, Finn looks at Artie, who shoots him a _bitch, please, it's not about me_ face; everyone else has turned around and is staring at Santana.

"-- _What_?" Santana snaps, her arms folded over her chest, as furious at them all as Kurt's ever seen her. And, he thinks, maybe a little scared, too.

Getting up in front of the group again, Mr. Schue tries to call their attention back to practicing whatever ungodly song he has selected for them for this week, but Kurt sees the way that Santana Lopez stares at the back of Brittany's head for the rest of the rehearsal.

**Author's Note:**

> Rachel: "[Can You Feel the Love Tonight](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYGFqF80gCE)," from _The Lion King_ [Broadway]; [lyrics](http://www.allmusicals.com/lyrics/lionking/canyoufeelthelovetonight.htm)
> 
> Finn: "[You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-G8IfjPAII)," by Josh Groban; [lyrics](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Don%27t-Give-Up-You-Are-Loved-lyrics-Josh-Groban/5B5B006C109F8EB84825721F00134298)
> 
> Sam: "[Til Kingdom Come](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo49REpQCwA&feature=related)," by Coldplay; [lyrics](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/coldplay/tilkingdomcome.html) (there's some debate whether this is a love song or a religious song, which seemed appropriate for Quinn)
> 
> Quinn: "[Come Away with Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbjZPFBD6JU)," by Norah Jones; [lyrics](http://www.lyrics007.com/Norah%20Jones%20Lyrics/Come%20Away%20With%20Me%20Lyrics.html). Particularly relevant: " _Come away with me and we'll kiss on a mountaintop; come away with me and I'll never stop loving you._ " I liked this one because it's very restrained, soft and low and jazzy, and I think it would sound a hell of a lot better in Quinn's sweet voice than the stuff she often winds up stuck with on the show. Plus, Dianna Agron has said that her voice is suited to low jazz (check!), and it's just about the gentlest love song in existence.
> 
> Puck: Acoustic "[Everyday I Love You Less and Less](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAkg4cwJp1Y)," The Kaiser Chiefs; [lyrics](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/kaiserchiefs/everydayiloveyoulessandless.html). Particularly relevant: " _Everyday I love you less and less; it's clear to see that you've become obsessed [...] I can't believe once you and me had sex; it makes me sick to think of you undressed, since everyday I love you less and less. And everyday I love you less and less; you're turning into something I detest. And everybody says that you're a mess, since everyday I love you less and less_."
> 
> Mike: "[Hands](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UieEGtd7m-M)," the Ting Tings; [lyrics](http://www.songonlyrics.com/the-ting-tings-hands-lyrics/). There are no relevant lyrics. At all.
> 
> Tina: "[I Could Have Danced All Night](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNaIor5lxN8&feature=related)," from _My Fair Lady_ ; [lyrics](http://www.allmusicals.com/lyrics/myfairlady/icouldhavedancedallnight.htm). Relevant: " _I'll never know what made it so exciting; why all at once my heart took flight. I only know when he began to dance with me, I could have danced, danced danced all night!_ "
> 
> Mercedes & Kurt: "[Down with Love](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp2JkT8e_r8)," by Michael Bublé & Holly Palmer; [lyrics](http://www.lyrics007.com/Michael%20Buble%20Lyrics/Down%20With%20Love%20\(Featuring%20Holly%20Palmer\)%20Lyrics.html). Original song: [Down with Love](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1rYjR3kC3U) by Judy Garland. Particularly relevant lyrics: " _Down with love, let's liquidate all its friends; the moon, the June, the roses and rainbows' ends. Down with songs that moan about night and day. Down with love, yes, take it away, away. [...] Give it back to the birds and the bees and the Viennese. Down with eyes, romantic and stupid; down with sighs and down with Cupid. Brother, let's stuff that dove. Down with love._ "
> 
> Brittany: "[Why Don't You Love Me?](http://vimeo.com/11465235)" by Beyoncé; [lyrics](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/beyonceknowles/whydontyouloveme.html). The video should make Brittany's costume a little clearer!


End file.
